*charisma*
03-20-2009, 11:30 AM
Please help me find the answers in my situation. I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 years almost. We are both Muslims, but, unfortunately, we do not follow all the rules.We did not enter into civil or religious marriage. I always had a very serious intentions towards him and warned him about that. We had good and bad times just like all other couples but never left each other. Also i must say that his mother in Azerbaijan is against me. When she came to visit him once and saw me, and told him that she would never except me just because i was not their nationality (I am half Tatar and half Russian) and because of her personal dislike, even though she did not even have time to get to know me. This was always a problem for us, because I know how he loves his mother and how important for him is to be in a good relationship with her and the rest of his family. We still stayed together. Now I became pregnant and I am so happy that God sent me a child, especially from him because I love him so much. He became so scared, because of the financial situation we are in, also because of his mom. He tried to talk to her, but she told him that even if a have 101 babies from her son, she is not going to except me. So he started to insist on abortion saying that before 5 weeks it's allowed to do it (but i know that you can only do it in rare situations if mother's health is endangered). I did not agree and decided to have a baby anyway no matter what happens. From his words, he tried to talk to his mother several times but she is just saying no and no without any reason. Now he left to his country, left me here by myself, and in a week called and said that he is not coming back and i can have this baby myself because i did not listen to him and did not get an abortion. I know that all this is happening because his mother does not want to except me, if it wasn't for her, he wouldn't say and do all this. I cannot describe the way i feel right now. This was my closest friend who i could trust and rely on for all these years, especially we were living in a different country and there was noone closer to me. I love him so much that I can't even breath now, i love him even after he had done all this to me and i an ready to forgive him. Also I know that we committed a big sin having a baby without being married, but those are intentions what matter. And now since this baby is going to be born (Inshalla) without him i don't know how to live anymore. I am completely lost and i don't want to exist without him. Also i am very angry at his mother, how can a person, claiming to be Muslim do this things towards others without any reasoning and explanation. She is hearting her son, me and this unborn baby, because there has been no day yet that i didn't cry and it all effects my baby. She could just give me a chance or i don't know, a trying period to see how i am, but just because of her caprice, because she wants to choose a bride for him I am in between life and death. I know that she shouldn't separate a family (even if we are not registered or did not have a religious wedding) without any reason, just because she personally doesn't like me, especially when Allah blessed us with the baby. Please, please explain me everything in details. I hope it will help me find myself and i would be able to enjoy life again. THank you.