:sl:

brothers and sisters i will tell my story to you why i want to commit suicide i will make this as short as possible.

im form afghanistan and 25 years old,and i have a brother he is 1 year younger then me im the oldest we are 2 brothers form same mom.
when i was about 4 years old my mom died form a heart attack and as you know our country has been fighting each other from a long time so after my mom died few years later we moved to pakistan when i was 7 then after few years my dad got maried as you know %99 of stepmoms are bad and yes they are i have been living with them untill know she never cared about us anyways there comes my father he was in the army in afghanistan when the fighting got bad we fled the country and went to pakistan after few years my father came to uk then i came here and been here 9 years and my brother and stepbrother and stepsister and stepmom came to england about 3 years ago as my father hase been granted indifinte leave in the united kingdome but not me huh crazzy is it yes i used to pray 5 times know i think im losing my faith anything i do doest work for me there are bad things happend to me when i was 10 years old my father used to beat my like hell i know it was my stepmom she told him to do so she is a witch is you know what im talking about she uses tha dark magic to control my dad and she succeded what ever she tell him he does that so the other bad things that happen when i was 10 i had some friends and 1 day they told me lets go to our new house he said we bought it and we will move there soon so he said lets check it out i went there and we were playing in there and after few minutes my friend said we will be back we gona get some corn and be right back you stay there they told me that so i did stay in there after they gone long i was coming down to go home but there was a man coming it was there older brother so he tryed to grab me i didnt knew what he was gona do to but know i do he was a sick pedophile then i started crying and i dont know it was like some 1 was watching over me and he just got back and let me go sence that time this fear has been with me till know this wasnt the first time this happend second time happend iswell my step mom brother and his cousin
grab me and one of them hold me from my hand the other did the bad thing to me so some time i think why allah didnt do anything ?to help me why this happend to me and why my life is like this never gets better i tryed everything tryed to fix it but instead of getting better got worse know maybe they gona send me back to my country but i wont go there before that i will commit suicide so these people that did these things to me one of theme is here in london and allah gave him everything why? why allah gives everything to bad people and bad to good people ?

im tired of this life my stepmom is trowing me out of the house and my father is with her and i dont have a visa and i dont have a place to live and i dont have permision to work i dont see any other way,

i hope i didnt made you all upset but i just wanted to tell some 1 before i die
and i want to know after i die well allah is gona forgive me for my sins as i may have done some and for commiting suicide ?
its been long i didnt pray iswell is there something i can do so allah can forgive me please help me before i commit suicide.:exhausted