Assalamu alaikum wr wb
I have a situation where there are possibly two marriage proposals coming forth in the next couple of months.
Both men live outside UK, one in Italy (Iraqi), the other in Saudi (Jordanian).
I am a revert and knew the Jordanian before I converted through wanting to learn arabic about three years ago. He has two children and is separated - for many years he had problems within his marriage, his wife wanted a divorce to pursue a career, he didn't, but they stayed together for the children but now she has decided she wants out and the children now live with him. He is therefore looking for a good (2nd?) wife for him and his family and believes me to be what he is looking for, and especially happy that I reverted. We have basically kept in touch for 3 years by phone and email and so I know his background, his career changes, the ups and downs in his life during that time.
We got back in touch recently and he is coming to London at the end of June to finally meet up and has been talking about wedding arrangements in the UK, what are the rules.. how it can be done. To be honest.. I am looking forward to seeing him, after many years, and feel I know his character well. He is a good practising man, family orientated, knowledgeable, sensitive, mature, responsible and respectful with a bubbly personality. Alhamdulillah, I feel 'safe' with him, and we have both had a feeling about one another before, trusting our instinct that we would be right for one another.
Then there is someone else.. talk about buses!!! An Iraqi guy, who has persistantly been pursuing me, living in Italy. We have spoken briefly a few times and already he is calling me habibti, saying that he's found the one he wants, he also wants to come to London to meet me and be together halal etc., however he is shi'a and I'm not comfortable with this. He called me today and despite me mentioning the differences within our faith, he insists there is no real differences therefore no problem except if I want it to be a problem! For me, Sunni, I do find these differences a problem. I also know nothing really about him apart from the basics and his 'wooing' is making me feel uncomfortable.
Being new to the faith, and the first time that this has happened, I don't want to be so vulnerable and naive that I make a huge mistake. Yes, I do want to get married, but insha'Allah to the right man.
Can anyone offer some swift advice please, insha'Allah? It's making me quite anxious..
My gut feeling, and what I have prayed Istikhara for, is for the Jordanian. But, Allah Alim..
JazakAllah khayran
Assalamu alaikum
مواقع النشر (المفضلة)