Asalaamualaikum brothers and sisters.

I'm in desperate need of advice and duas. I am a recent revert to Islam (last Ramadan is when I did Shahada) and I have run into so many complications and tests.

I entered the fold of Islam from Christianity through some Shia brothers and sisters. My good friend was Shia, which is why I converted through the Shia. I later embraced Sunni Islam a few months later after learning some more things about Shiism that I was not in agreement with and I had to redo my Shahada (already off to a bad start imsad).

My parents have been really opposed to my decision since I reverted. Other Muslims have spread rumors about why I converted (they say I converted for a girl, which is not true because I used to like this one Muslim girl when I was Christian).

Then, I met a sister at a school and I tried to go about it the Islamic way by going to her parents, but I was rejected for cultural reasons (I'm not Indian, I'm not Syyed, I don't look good enough etc.). She still wanted to marry me so we have continued to try and convince them to this day.

I have a strong passion to be a good Muslim, but then I committed one of the worse sins. I feel like my conversion was meaningless now. I can't seem to defeat this sin either, and everytime I repent and feel I am sincere, I forget and I go back to that sin. I cannot defeat it.

I feel like my conversion has been meaningless...I should know better as a revert. I shouldn't do these things. Everything feels messed up. All those stories I hear about reverts converting and changing every aspect of their lives afterwards flawlessly...that's not me. I entered this religion through the wrong path first and then embraced Sunnism, and I've already committed one of the major sins less than a year into this.

I feel so worthless imsad