asalamu alaykum brothers and sisters

Ill start off by saying that i need help and want to change my life.
My mother is the most religious person in our family

shes always praying reading the quran

And i will be honest i cant go to her for help.
Ive been really down lately and i just dont kno what to do anymore
I have a car many can dream of having i have a motorcycle i have wealth im good looking young 22yo i have many many friends, Im a pharmacy Tech

I hardly can sleep at night because i think something is missing and i believe its the lack i have in my religion, its so hard for me though, i feel as if im right infront of the door but cant step into it. I feel disgusted with myself i do alot of really bad things, I just picked up alcohol the other day and thats something i swore never to get near, but i did and i feel really bad.
I do believe in ALLAH but i just feel like im such a disgrace i shouldn't even say the name allah.
I sleep with woman, I lie to my parents,I don't sleep at home much of the time im always out partying,. but inside me there is a piece thats trying to come out, its something that wants to push me to the path of my religion. I didnt sleep one bit today and its been like this for a month now. I hurt alot of woman in the past emotionally and physically, a couple of hours ago i went down stairs and asked my mom to show me how to pray, her eyes opened up real wide and she said dont joke with me like that and i said mom im serious.
so i took a shower and got out she told me to repeat stuff after her.
I prayed and i felt so good yet so bad, i felt like i shouldn't do this because im dirty on the inside. I cried throughout the whole thing. Im still tahir and i feel so good for some reason.
I really want to stop doing bad things like i do every night. but its hard its my way of life.
I just dont kno what to do. its like i want to become a muslim pray everyday and turn off all that nightlife girls ect... but I just feel like i will never be able to.
many times when i go to the grocery store i put money in the little basket for muslims.
I am scared of allah yet i still do bad things and its taking over my life.
Im drifting away from it. how do i kno when im ready to put all the bad stuff aside i feel like im not ready to even though i want to. Will i ever be ready to change what will help me to change.
what will help me change my mind and really focus on religion and start praying
what will help me forget the bad friends i have
what will help me forget about girls
what will help me steer towards islam.
what will help me change for ever

Please someone help me out please.
:cry: