Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

Hello all,

I am new to this board, but have been reading for a while in the last few days. I have a question to ask the members on here and i wondered if you can offer your help and advice and even your support. I will provide a little bit of a background, so please forgive me for the length of this.

I have been divorced for almost a year now due to an abusive marriage from not only my ex husband but his family too. It was the most terrible 4 months of my life. Alhumdulilah, i am happy to be free. However, i became pregnant early and so i am raising a baby all on my own. It has been hard but i am getting by with the Grace of Allah (swt). Since then i have had space and time for myself and now i feel i am ready to meet someone to marry again. However, as you all can imagine it has been an even harder struggle to meet a good Muslim who would not judge me as they don't even make an effort to know my personality but only see this baby, let alone that i am divorced. What happened to looking at my Deen and Personality as the Hadith had suggested? I don't want to run the risk of saying anything bad to offend anyone, but it is made me become very disappointed in Muslim men in general, as i find it appalling. I have found it easier to meet non-Muslim men who do not mind a child, but i do not want that, Allah (swt) comes first for me. Some even marry someone with 2 or 3 children, but when it comes to a Muslim, he doesn't want to know you. It is no wonder non-Muslim societies think they see that this is Islam, treating a woman as second class citizen when it is culture and ignorance.

My question is this, does the Sunnah forbid this? As i recall, the Prophet (pbuh) married a number of divorced women and widows. Even his beloved Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, the love of his life, was a divorcee, but i believe it is not clear whether she had children before marrying him. However, many seem to forget this and often let culture come first and not the Islam. Some often feel they are better than this, or deserve better.

Secondly, can anyone provide any Quranic teaching or Hadith to show that it is highly pleasing or okay to marry a divorced woman with a child?

Like i said i find too often that culture, of especially the family, get in the way. Many people seem to follow a 'request' to not marry a divorcee, let alone someone with a child. This is a question for especially men, why can't they stand up and correct their parents and do the honourably thing when you meet a woman you like? Doesn't the Sunnah state that you should correct a dislikeable/wrong thing with your tongue?

Yes, i understand some men have this problem too, even though the children live away from home. I find the female, not surprisingly, has to bare the brunt and sigma of consequences that were not all her fault. As an Ummah we should be looking after, taking care and protecting our females in society, especially those of us in such a position, not judging us and pushing us to the side. But many seem to pick their own rules.

Sorry for blabbing on, but this is a topic that has really got me upset as i have felt like an old used toy and i was unfortunately married for only 4 months to a badly brought up manchild and i have a child for the rest of my life. However do not think, i see my child as a burden in any way, it has made me very happy and i feel very blessed in so many ways, Alhumdulilah.

Thanks for your time and please i love to here your explanations and advice.